Get ready for a wild ride in San Jose, California! From December 6 to 8, 2024, the "Pachamama Sacred Paths" group is throwing a three-day bash they're calling the "Plant Sacrament Retreat / Divine Purpose." It's not your average weekend getaway—think less spa treatments and more spiritual awakenings.
What's the Deal?
This shindig promises to combine self-discovery, nature worship, and good old-fashioned tripping (but in a very spiritual way, of course). The organizers claim you'll leave with a refreshed spirit, a transformed outlook, and a newfound appreciation for Mother Nature's "sacred gifts." Just don't expect to find these gifts at your local garden center.
The Main Events
The retreat features three different "Sacrament Circles." Now, before you start picturing a bunch of people sitting around munching on houseplants, let's break it down:
- Traditional Andean Missa—Divine Mother Ceremony: It sounds like a cross between a church service and a family reunion with Mother Earth.
- Niños Santos—Mexica ceremony: This one evokes ancient Aztec vibes. However, you should probably leave your sacrificial knife at home.
- Padre Sapito Ceremony: We're not sure what a "Frog Father" has to do with plant sacraments, but hey, who are we to judge?
What Else is on the Menu?
Apart from the main ceremonies, you'll get to enjoy:
- Integration Rituals: Because coming back to reality can be a real bummer.
- Transmutation processes: Sounds sciency. Maybe you'll turn lead into gold?
- Anya Circles: For when you need to talk about your trip... er, journey.
The Details
Now, let's talk logistics. The whole shebang will set you back $999. But don't worry, they're not charging for the "sacraments" – that would be illegal. No, no, this is just to cover boring stuff like food, lodging, and having someone make sure you don't try to fly off the roof.
A Word of Caution
The organizers are quick to point out that while these ceremonies can help you see the light, they won't do the heavy lifting for you. In other words, don't expect to walk in a mess and walk out a zen master. The shamans and facilitators are just regular folks who've spent decades getting really, really good at tripping... I mean, "working with Ancestral Sacraments."
Extra Goodies
If three days of plant-induced enlightenment isn't enough for you, they're offering some extras:
- One-on-one Shamanic Consultations: For when group hallucinations just won't cut it.
- Detox Ceremony: Because what goes up must come down.
The Fine Print
Before you pack your bags and head to San Jose, there are a few things to keep in mind:
- You need to be a church member. (Yes, really.)
- They're not responsible if you suddenly decide you're a bird and try to nest in a tree.
- If you cancel within a week of the event, say goodbye to your money.
Remember, this isn't just a weekend of getting high in the name of spirituality. It's a journey of self-discovery, a chance to commune with nature, and an opportunity to see the world in a whole new way. Just maybe don't operate heavy machinery for a while afterward, okay?
So, if you're feeling adventurous and have $999 burning a hole in your pocket, why not give it a shot? Who knows, you might just find your divine purpose. Or at least have some really interesting stories to tell at your next dinner party.
Source: allevents.in
Header Image Source: allevents.in
